Gagging

A Guernsey Deputy recently tried to find out the extent to which gagging clauses have been used here by asking a question in the monthly States meeting. The reply  came straight out of “Yes Minister”.
 
You can almost hear the conversation.
 
We need to know about these confidentiality clauses.
 
Absolutely minister but is this the right time?
 
Has to be, someone’s about to ask the question.
 
Well, we’ll do what we can.
 
Not a problem is it?
 
No minister, it’s just there may be one or two legal problems.
 
Overcome them.
 
And it’s stretching over a very long period of time.
 
Do the best you can.
 
And spread through every department.
 
That’s why we need to know.
 
Each one with different systems and procedures. An administrative nightmare just to find even the basic information.
 
But you can do it?
 
Of course minister, if that is what you wish.
 
Yes.
 
But it would mean taking people away from all of those money saving projects you want us to push through.
 
Oh.
 
Unfortunately we’d probably then miss most of the financial targets you’ve set us.
 
Oh.
 
Yes, such a shame when we’re so close.
 
Are you?
 
Almost definitely minister. But if you want us to abandon it then course we’ll assist this new endeavour.
 
Good.
 
And may I compliment you on your political bravery minister.
 
Bravery?
 
Well, gagging orders have a purpose minister. The necessary restriction of divisive tittle tattle and the avoidance of misrepresentation of well meaning projects which contained completely unforeseen problems and administrative diversions.
 
You mean they bury the cock ups?
 
If you insist minister. But how will your political colleagues react to their departments being examined in such detail? Not well I suspect.
 
Hmm.
 
Can’t see it getting you too much support. Re-election is always such a difficult task in these trying circumstances.
 
Yes.
 
Much better to get some good financial savings under your belt.
 
Yes, you know, I can see the difficulties this question could unleash.
 
A Pandora’s box minister.
 
Legal problems, different systems to disentangle, moving manpower away from other projects. 

Vital projects minister.
 
Yes, glad you agree. Draft me a reply would you?
 
Yes minister.

 
Chaps then talk to chaps and, appreciating that these are only delaying tactics, our chaps then double check their pension entitlements and draft letter of resignation determined to get out before the cow pats start flying.

Complete fiction of course. 

Nobody would really run a government like that would they?