Whatever happened to Respect?

So our deputies have been instructed by the Chief Minister to treat each other with respect. 

What an indictment that such an instruction need be given in the first place.
 
But I suppose it just reflects our current society.
 
When I was growing up, the default position was to show respect until proved otherwise. 

Slowly that drifted as the mantra changed to “You’ve got to earn respect”.
 
So where does that leave us today?
 
Disaffected teenagers demanding respect whilst giving none. A significant proportion of our population actively distrusting anyone in authority. Parents auto-defaulting to support of their offspring in any argument with their school or teachers regardless of circumstance and police officers treated as the enemy.
 
Respect seems to equate to servility and as everyone knows, we are all equal these days regardless of upbringing or education.
 
Even our language now lacks words of respect. 

The Japanese can add “san” or “sama” after a name to denote respect and some Americans have retained “M’am” for the same reason.
 
What do we have?
 
“Sir” has strong echoes of servility, and “Madam” has fallen out of use unless describing the proprietress of a bawdy house.
 
Those of us not in regular contact with Her Majesty have never taken to “M’am” and “Missus” without a name attached bounces straight to the poorer edges of UK cities some decades back. There are the regional familiarities of “Love”, “Duck” etc but none indicate any respect.
 
Maybe Guernsey French retains such honorifics but even if it does, too few would understand.
 
Language has deserted us in our hour of need.
 
Most schools still insist on pupils using “Sir” or “Miss” but this becomes a little more grudgingly used during the teenage years as the mantra takes hold.
 
In the trendy past, formality was seen as a barrier to effective relationship building which gave rise to the “Call me Jeff” brigade. 

But in a lot of cases it was and still is wrong for Jeff to try to pretend egalitarianism. He's not a mate, he's an advisor.
 
Another barrier is that people do not like to feel they are being told what to do. It offends their cult of the individual even though most don’t want to be too individual and keenly check what everyone else is doing to ensure an acceptable modicum of non-conformity.
 
Maybe we need to go back to those rose tinted halcyon days when respect was given automatically regardless of status, but we just can’t get there from here.
 
Perhaps instead we should each follow today’s mantra and start earning respect by living and behaving as someone who generates rather than deserves it.
 
How might we do this?
 
Think about who you could respect and ask why. What might they do which would cause you to want to respect them?
 
Then take those traits or behaviours and reflect them in your own life.
 
It’s an adaptation of the Golden Rule which is far older and wiser than any modern mantra.
 
Not long after BC became AD, a rabbi was challenged to recite the whole of the Jewish Torah (their bible) whilst standing on one leg. 

Rabbi Hillel hoisted himself stork like and replied
 
“What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbour. That is the whole of the Torah, the rest is commentary. Go and learn it!”
 
Still sounds like good advice, even for deputies.

Quality Customer Care

In January 2011 I set myself a task.
 
To walk around St Peter Port and photograph as many empty shops as I could find.
 
I found 32 empty retail outlets in various states of disrepair.
 
I didn’t do an update this year but the majority of them are still as they were 12 months ago.
 
Hardly a good advert for Guernsey.
 
Town was, and is, being killed by the internet.
 
Why bother traipsing from shop to shop to try and find what you want when it’s probably out of stock and a couple of weeks away?
 
Stay at home, boot up the laptop, and buy what you want for delivery within the next few days. Oh, and it’s probably cheaper too.
 
Local shops just can’t compete.
 
But sometimes internet shopping can go wrong.
 
It did for me a little while ago.
 
I couldn’t email the site concerned and had to use a helpline.
 
It turned out that the lady answering the phone was sitting in Cape Town, South Africa. Not a good start.
 
The thick South African accent sort of gave the game away.
 
But this lady could not have been more helpful or polite, even over polite by our standards. But by the time the call was finished, my problem was solved and my view of the company had jumped by several notches.
 
Would I use them again?
 
Definately.
 
I would love to put that lady into one of our struggling retail outlets in Town and watch her work. I’m certain that she would soon have a positive effect.
 
Imagine going into this shop and being greeted in a friendly yet respectful way and treated as a valued visitor. Given help and advice or just the space needed to look around. The occasional comment or helpful suggestion. Maybe even a recommendation to try a different shop as they didn’t have exactly what you needed.
 
Would you go there again?
 
Probably.
 
Would you buy something?
 
Maybe not on that first visit but almost certainly within the next visit or two.
 
Even if it cost more than the internet?
 
I love going into this shop. I get treated well, I can have a friendly chat, and I know I’m going to get good advice. Of course I’m going to buy from there.
 
Away from this fantasy, does such service exist in Guernsey?
 
Only in a very small handful of restaurants. Not in any shops I can think of.
 
In 2012, we are expecting 79 cruise ships to dock in Guernsey, spilling about one hundred thousand people onto our streets and maybe into our shops, if they are open of course.
 
One hundred thousand opportunities to make a sale, to make a good impression.
 
The chance to create a word of mouth advertising campaign for Guernsey with one hundred thousand channels.
 
Just imagine the effect.
 
How was the holiday?
 
You wouldn’t believe it. We just stopped in Guernsey for the day and I only went into half a dozen shops. The choice was a bit limited but the service was extraordinary. It was like going back 20 years. Then we had lunch in this small place and again, the service was brilliant. I’d love to go back there.
 
So, why isn’t this happening, or more to the point, how can we make it happen?
 
Tell me, I’d love to know.