Whatever happened to Respect?

So our deputies have been instructed by the Chief Minister to treat each other with respect. 

What an indictment that such an instruction need be given in the first place.
 
But I suppose it just reflects our current society.
 
When I was growing up, the default position was to show respect until proved otherwise. 

Slowly that drifted as the mantra changed to “You’ve got to earn respect”.
 
So where does that leave us today?
 
Disaffected teenagers demanding respect whilst giving none. A significant proportion of our population actively distrusting anyone in authority. Parents auto-defaulting to support of their offspring in any argument with their school or teachers regardless of circumstance and police officers treated as the enemy.
 
Respect seems to equate to servility and as everyone knows, we are all equal these days regardless of upbringing or education.
 
Even our language now lacks words of respect. 

The Japanese can add “san” or “sama” after a name to denote respect and some Americans have retained “M’am” for the same reason.
 
What do we have?
 
“Sir” has strong echoes of servility, and “Madam” has fallen out of use unless describing the proprietress of a bawdy house.
 
Those of us not in regular contact with Her Majesty have never taken to “M’am” and “Missus” without a name attached bounces straight to the poorer edges of UK cities some decades back. There are the regional familiarities of “Love”, “Duck” etc but none indicate any respect.
 
Maybe Guernsey French retains such honorifics but even if it does, too few would understand.
 
Language has deserted us in our hour of need.
 
Most schools still insist on pupils using “Sir” or “Miss” but this becomes a little more grudgingly used during the teenage years as the mantra takes hold.
 
In the trendy past, formality was seen as a barrier to effective relationship building which gave rise to the “Call me Jeff” brigade. 

But in a lot of cases it was and still is wrong for Jeff to try to pretend egalitarianism. He's not a mate, he's an advisor.
 
Another barrier is that people do not like to feel they are being told what to do. It offends their cult of the individual even though most don’t want to be too individual and keenly check what everyone else is doing to ensure an acceptable modicum of non-conformity.
 
Maybe we need to go back to those rose tinted halcyon days when respect was given automatically regardless of status, but we just can’t get there from here.
 
Perhaps instead we should each follow today’s mantra and start earning respect by living and behaving as someone who generates rather than deserves it.
 
How might we do this?
 
Think about who you could respect and ask why. What might they do which would cause you to want to respect them?
 
Then take those traits or behaviours and reflect them in your own life.
 
It’s an adaptation of the Golden Rule which is far older and wiser than any modern mantra.
 
Not long after BC became AD, a rabbi was challenged to recite the whole of the Jewish Torah (their bible) whilst standing on one leg. 

Rabbi Hillel hoisted himself stork like and replied
 
“What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbour. That is the whole of the Torah, the rest is commentary. Go and learn it!”
 
Still sounds like good advice, even for deputies.